經典小學英語笑話短文閱讀

　　近些年,冷笑話作為一種特殊的幽默方式在網際網路、電視節目、書籍雜誌上廣泛流傳。小編精心收集了經典小學英語笑話短文，供大家欣賞學習!

　　經典小學英語笑話短文：兩個錯誤

　　For a long time Dr. Smith had wanted to get a better job in a certain big modern hospital, and at last he was successful. He was appointed to a particular position, which he wanted，and his wife moved to the house, which they were now to live in. The next day some beautiful flowers were sent to them, with a note，which said，"Deepest sympathy". Naturally,Dr. Smith was angry to receive such an unusual note, and telephoned the shop which had sent the flowers to find what the note meant.

　　很長時間以來，史密斯先生一直想在一家現代化的大醫院找到一份較好的工作，最後他如願以償了。他得到了他所想要的一個重要職位，他和他妻子也搬進了他們現在的房子。第二天，他讓花店送來了一些美麗的鮮花，上面有一張條子，寫道:“最深切的弔慰。”很顯然，史密斯先生對接到這樣一張條子感到非常氣憤，他立刻打電話給送花店的老闆問那張條子是什麼意思。

　　When the owner of the shop heard what had happened, he apologized to Dr. Smith for having made the mistake.

　　商店的老闆聽到所發生的事情之後，對於他們所造成的錯誤對史密斯先生表示歉意。

　　"But what really worried me much more," he added , "is that flowers which ought to have gone to you were sent to a person who had just died, with a card which said, Congratulations on your new position."

　　“可真正讓我更為擔心的是”，老闆補充道，“應該給你送去的鮮花卻被送給了一個剛去世的人，鮮花上的條子寫著:祝您高升。”

　　經典小學英語笑話短文：愛爾蘭人的運氣

　　Two Irish lovers are sitting on a bench, in a park. They are holding hands，but the lady is nervously twisting her hands.

　　一對愛爾蘭情侶坐在公園裡的長椅上。他們手牽著手，但是那個女的一直緊張地擺弄她的雙手。

　　Mary: “Patrick. I have something to tell you.”

　　瑪麗:“帕特瑞克，我有些事想告訴你。”

　　Patrick: “Well，what’s on your mind? You know you can tell me everything.”

　　帕特瑞克:“好的，你在想什麼?有什麼事你儘管可以跟我說。”

　　Mary: “It’ s so terrible.”

　　瑪麗:“這件事簡直太難講出口了。”

　　Patrick: “You know you can trust me. What is it?”

　　帕克瑞克:“請你相信我，到底是什麼事?”

　　Mary: “Well, it was a few years ago. Father lost his job, and no money in sight…”

　　瑪麗:“那是好幾年前的事了。我爸爸失業了，當時沒有錢。”

　　Patrick: “So, what is it?”

　　帕特瑞克:“那然後呢?”

　　Mary: “Oh. We were so desperate. For some time I had to turn… prostitute!”

　　瑪麗:“哦，當時我們簡直是絕望之極。所以有時候我不得不去做妓女!”

　　Patrick: “WHAT!”

　　帕特瑞克:“你說什麼?”

　　Mary: “We needed the money so bad!”

　　瑪麗:“我們太需要錢了。”

　　Patrick: “There is no good reason for this! Endangering your very soul! How could you? YOU! Mary, this is more than I can stand!”

　　帕特瑞克:“不要找藉口開脫了。出賣你的靈魂，你怎麼能這麼做呢? 你! 瑪麗，這我實在是接受不了。”

　　Mary: “Not you, Pat! No! I thought you'd understand. I thought your could still love me, even though I had been a whore.”

　　瑪麗:“不，帕特請不要這樣，我覺得你能理解我。我相信你依然愛我，哪怕我曾經出賣過自己的身體。”

　　Patrick:“Oh! … You … Well, that's ok. For a moment I thought you said protestant’!”

　　帕特瑞克:“哦，你等會兒，那沒關係。剛才我還以為你是說你是當了新教徒呢。”

　　經典小學英語笑話短文：以色列的計程車

　　An American tourist was riding in a taxi in Israel. As the taxi approached a red light, the tourist was shocked to see the driver drive straight through without even slowing down. Surprised as he was, he didn’t say anything, feeling himself a "guest" and not wanting to make waves.

　　一個美國遊客在以色列打了一輛計程車。使這個美國遊客震驚的是，當計程車開到紅燈底下的時候，司機根本沒有減速就直著衝了過去。雖然他很吃驚，但他什麼也沒說。他覺得自己是個遊客不應該找麻煩。

　　The trip continued without event until the next intersection. This time the light was green and，to the American' s dismay, the cab driver brought the vehicle to a grinding halt. Unable to contain his astonishment, he turns to the driver: "Listen,” he says ,“ when you went through the red light, I didn't say anything. But, why, in heaven’s name，are you stopping at a green light?!”

　　一切都很順利，直到下一個十字路口。這回是綠燈，可讓美國人驚愕的是那個司機踩剎車停了下來。他再也憋不住了，就問司機:“我問你，剛才你闖紅燈我什麼都沒說，可這回是綠燈為什麼你卻停了下來?”

　　The Israeli driver looks at him as if the American was deranged: "Are you crazy?!” he shouts. "The other guy has a red light一do you want to get us killed?!”

　　那個以色列司機看著那美國人，驚訝的喊道:“你瘋了嗎?另一個司機現在正要闖紅燈，難道你想找死嗎?”