英語笑話帶翻譯爆笑的小學

　　若要推論現行冷笑話的來源,或已無從考證，它的傳播方式並非特定,既能通過網路等媒體進行傳播,也能通過人們口耳相傳。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　精選

　　Excuse for Speeding

　　Harry and Lloyd were speeding down the road. A police car pulled them over.

　　"Why on earth were you driving so fast?" the policeman yelled.

　　Our brakes are no good-so we wanted to get there before we had an accident!

　　超速的理由

　　哈里與勞埃德超速行駛，一輛警車攔住了他們。

　　“你們為什麼開那麼快?”警官喊道。

　　我們的剎車不好，因此我們想在發生事故前趕緊到達目的地。

　　閱讀

　　紐西蘭的氣候是什麼樣的?

　　The Climate of New Zealand

　　Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?

　　Matthew: Very Cold, sir.

　　Teacher: Wrong.

　　Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!

　　紐西蘭的氣候

　　老師：馬修，紐西蘭的氣候怎麼樣?

　　馬修：先生，那裡的天氣很冷。

　　老師：錯了。

　　馬修：可是，先生!從那兒運來的豬肉都凍得硬邦邦的。

　　學習

　　逼真的戲劇 Real Play

　　Real Play

　　When I taught the introduction-to-theater course at North Dakota State University, I requiredmy students to attend the university theater's current production and write a critique.

　　After viewing a particularly fine performance, one student wrote: The play was so real, Ithought I was actually sitting on my couch at home, watching it on television.

　　逼真的戲劇

　　我在北達科他州立大學教戲劇入門課時，要求學生們去看學校劇團當時的演出，並寫一篇評論。一場極為精彩的演出後，

　　一名學生寫道：“這部戲劇是如此逼真，以致於我認為我自己是坐在家裡的沙發上，從電視上看到的。”

　　欣賞

　　浪費還是節約 Waste or Save

　　Waste or Save

　　Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning. Don't you know you are wastingtime?

　　Jack: Yes, Dad. But I've saved you a meal, haven' I?

　　浪費還是節約

　　父親：噢，傑克，你又睡了一上午。難道你不知道你這是在浪費時間嗎?

　　傑克：我知道，爸爸。可我還給您節省了一頓飯呢，是不是?

　　品味

　　Which part? 哪一部分?

　　A: "I was born in California."

　　B: "Which part?"

　　A: "All of me."

　　A：“我出生在加州。”

　　B：“哪一部分?”

　　A：“每一部分。”

　　摘抄

　　你活不成了 You're Not Going to Make it

　　Gravely ill, a man went to the doctor with his wife. After the examination the physician motioned for the wife to meet him in the hallway.

　　"Your husband is very sick, " the doctor said, "but there are three things you can do to ensure his survival. First, fix him three healthful, delicious meals a day. Next, give him a stress-free environment , and don't complain about anything. Finally, make passionate love to him every day.

　　On the drive home the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?"

　　"I'm sorry, " she said, "but you're not going to make it."

　　一個人得了重病，妻子伴隨他去看醫生。檢查過後，醫生示意病人的妻子到走廊見他。

　　“你丈夫病得很重，”醫生說，“但有三件事可保住他的性命。第一，一日三餐，要營養美味。第二，給他一個輕鬆的環境，不要抱怨。第三，每天都對他傾注熾熱的愛。”

　　在驅車回家的路上，丈夫問道：“醫生說了什麼?”

　　“很遺憾，”妻子說，“你活不成了。”

　　鑑賞

　　不小心咬破了自己的舌頭

　　"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.

　　“我們有毒嗎?”一個年幼的蛇問它的母親。

　　"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"

　　“是的，寶貝”，她回答說，“你問這個幹什麼?”

　　"Because I've just bitten my tongue! "

　　“因為我剛剛咬破自己的舌頭。”