英語笑話帶翻譯超爆笑的

　　近年來,冷笑話作為一種新興的語言現象在網路、雜誌上十分盛行。下面小編整理了，希望大家喜歡!

　　摘抄

　　熱情好客的小男孩

　　So Hospitable the boy is!

　　The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate.

　　The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?"

　　"In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.

　　好客

　　由於客人在吃蘋果餡餅時，家裡沒有乳酪了，於是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。過了一會兒，他拿著一片乳酪回到房間，把乳酪放在客人的盤子裡。

　　客人微笑著把乳酪放進嘴裡說：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。你在哪裡找到的乳酪?”

　　“在捕鼠夾上，先生。”那小男孩說。

　　鑑賞

　　誰欠誰錢 Who Owes the Money

　　A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast.

　　Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meatfrom my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?"

　　The lawyer answers, "Absolutely." "Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole aroast from me today." The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50.

　　Several days later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $250due for a consultation.

　　律師的狗沒有拴而到處閒逛，它來到一家肉店，偷走了一塊烤肉。

　　店主來到律師的辦公室，問道“如果一條沒栓的狗從我的商店裡偷了塊肉，我有權利從狗的主人那裡要回損失嗎?

　　律師答道：“完全可以”，“那你欠我 8.50美元，你的狗沒栓而且今天從我的店裡頭了塊肉”，律師什麼都沒說，馬上給他寫了一張支票。

　　幾天後，店主開啟郵箱，發現一封來自律師的信，信上寫道：諮詢費250美元。

　　賞析

　　A Great Man

　　Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a great man if he were still alive today?

　　Student: Of course. He must be a great man, for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.

　　一名偉人

　　老師：如果莎士比亞還活著，他會是一名偉人嗎?

　　學生：當然。因為到目前為止，還沒有人活到400多歲。

　　欣賞

　　時間對豬有什麼意義?

　　One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the countryroads，see how the farms looked，and farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer inhis yard， holding a pig up in his hands，and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from anapple tree. The city man said to the farmer，I see that your pig likes apples，but isnt that quitea waste of time? The farmer replied，"Whats time to a pig?"

　　一天，有一個城市裡的遊客來到一個小鄉村，在鄉間路上開著車，想看看農莊是什麼樣子，也想看看農夫怎樣種田過日子。這位城裡人看見一位農夫在宅後的草地上，手中抱著一頭豬，並把它舉得高高的，好讓它能夠吃到樹上的蘋果。城裡人對農夫說，我看你的豬挺喜歡吃蘋果的，但是，這不是很浪費時間嗎?那位農夫回答說，時間對豬有什麼意義?

　　品味

　　沒問題 No Problem

　　No Problem

　　A bald man took a seat in a beauty shop.

　　How can I help you? asked the stylist.

　　I went for a hair transplant, the guy explained, but I couldn't stand the pain. If you can makemy hair look like yours without causing me any discomfort, I'll pay you $5,000.

　　No problem, said the stylist, and he quickly shaved his head.

　　沒問題

　　一個禿頭的男人坐在理髮店裡。

　　髮型師問：有什麼可以幫你嗎?

　　那個人解釋說，我本來去做頭髮移植，但實在太痛了。如果你能夠讓我的頭髮看起來像你的一樣，而且沒有任何痛苦，我將付給你5000美元。

　　沒問題，髮型師說，然後他很快幫自己剃了個光頭。