關於簡單的英語笑話帶翻譯閱讀

　　冷笑話是一種新興的語言現象,伴隨著網路的普及它已經滲透到了青年群體的日常生活,偶爾爆出的一兩句冷笑話能使交流氛圍變得輕鬆愉悅,也能展示交談者的幽默和智慧。本文是關於簡單的英語笑話帶翻譯，希望對大家有幫助!

　　關於簡單的英語笑話帶翻譯：閒人遐思

　　He who sleeps catches no fish，—but he who keeps awake catches crabs every moment of his life.

　　All professions can yield a man enough to live on，—except professions of faith.

　　When attending the performance of some modern operas，it has struck me that the conductor was only beating time because he could not beat the composer.

　　If in the sight of the law all men are equal， Heaven save us from getting into its sight.

　　When you want to get rid of a dog， you take off his collar;—when the king wants to get rid of a minister， he give shim the collar—of the Order of the Annunziata.

　　The place where they ruin people's voices， and throw aside all the canons of art，is called the Conservatoire;and a hospital full of sick peopk is called a“house of health”***Casadi Salute***.

　　Among the many motives which induce me to stay away from the theatre is the utter absence of all motive in modernoperas.

　　How many old phrases are required to make a new electoral programme!

　　All musical notes may express cheerful ideas; it is only thenotes of creditors which arouse none but melancholy reflections.

　　I entered the shop of a pork butcher at the moment when his son， aged eight， was returning from school. The poor boy was weeping bitterly.

　　“The old story!”exclaimed his parent ;“I suppose you did not learn your lessons， and the master called you an ass， as you deserved!”

　　“Yes!” replied the child， sobbing，“he did call me an ass，—and then—”

　　“Well，—and then —what else?”

　　“He said，‘well， after all， it is no wonder—like father，like son!’”

　　“Did he，indeed?the animal!”exclaimed the porkbutcher.“And to think that perhaps he has not yet eaten the whole of those two sausages I sent him at Christmas!”

　　閒人遐思

　　“眠者不得魚”——但醒者一生時時刻刻捕到的卻是螃蟹。

　　各種職業都可賴以為生——除了信仰的宣言。

　　觀看某些現代歌劇演出時，我忽然悟到，指揮之所以僅僅只是打拍子，是因為他打不著作曲者。

　　上天保佑我們別進入法律的視界，即使在法律看來人人平等。

　　你不想要某條狗了，就取下它的領圈——當國王想擺脫某大臣，就給他戴上領飾——聖母瑪麗亞榮譽騎士團的領飾①。

　　毀壞人們的噪音並拋棄一切藝術法規的地方叫作音樂學校***Conservatoire***;住滿病人的醫院則被稱為“健康之屋”***Casa di Salute***。

　　種種動機促使我躲開劇院，其中之一就是因為現代歌劇完全沒有主題②。

　　得用多少老詞兒，才能編一套新的選舉綱領!

　　所有的音符都能表達歡樂的思想;唯獨債權人的信函③喚起的全是憂愁的念頭。

　　我走進殺豬屠夫的鋪子，他八歲的兒子正好放學回家。

　　那可憐的孩子哭得好傷心。

　　“準又是老事重演!”他父親吼道，“我想一定是你沒記住功課，老師罵你是蠢驢來著，你也就配捱罵!”

　　“不錯，”孩子回答，一邊抽泣著，“他確實叫我蠢驢來著，—然後—”

　　“然後——還有什麼?”

　　“他說，‘說來倒也不奇怪——有其父必有其子。’”

　　“他真這麼說了?那個畜生!”殺豬的大喊，“而且想想看，我過聖誕送他的整整兩大根肉腸只怕還並沒吃完呢!”

　　關於簡單的英語笑話帶翻譯：有益的教訓

　　In England nobody under the age of eighteen is allowed to drink in a public bar.

　　Mr. Thompson used to go to a bar near his house quite often，but he never took his son，Tom，because he was too young. Then when Tom had his eighteenthbirthday， Mr.Thompson took him to his usual bar for the first time.They drank for half an hour， and then Mr.Thompson said to his son，“Now， Tom，I want to teach you auseful lesson.You must always be careful not to drink too much. And how do you know when you've had enough? Well， I'll tell you.Do you see those two lights at the end of the bar? When they seem to have become four，you've had enough and should go home.”

　　“But，Dad，” said Tom，“I can only see one light at the end of the bar.”

　　在英國，十八歲以下的人不準進酒吧喝酒。

　　湯普森先生以前常常去他家附近的一個酒吧喝酒，但他從來不帶他的兒子湯姆去，因為他年紀太小。後來，當湯姆年滿十八歲的時候，湯普森先生第一次帶他去他常去的那家酒吧。他們喝了半個小時，而後，湯普森先生對他兒子說：“湯姆，現在我要告訴你一個有益的教訓。你必須時時小心不要喝得太多。你怎麼知道你喝夠了呢?好，我來告訴你。你看見酒吧那頭有兩盞燈嗎?當那兩盞燈看起來變成四盞的時候，你就喝夠了，應該回家了。

　　“可是，爸爸。”湯姆說：“在酒吧那頭我只能看見一盞燈。”

　　關於簡單的英語笑話帶翻譯：和母親一樣的女孩

　　No matter which girl he brought home， the young man found disapproval from his mother. A friend gave him advice.

　　“Find a girl just like your mother—then she's bound to like her.

　　So the young man searched and searched， and finally found the girl.He told his friendlyadviser：

　　“Just like you said， I found a girl who looked，talked，dressed， and even cooked like mother.And just as you said，mother liked her”

　　“So，”asked the friend，“what happened?”

　　“Nothing，”said the young man.“My father hates her!”

　　和母親一樣的女孩

　　無論帶哪一個女孩回家，這位青年人總會遭到母親的反對。一位朋友勸他說：

　　“找一個和你母親一樣的女孩——那她一定會喜歡她。”

　　於是這位青年人不停地找啊找，終於找到了這麼個女孩。

　　正像你說的那樣，我找到一個長相、談吐、穿著打扮，甚至連烹飪都和我母親一樣的女孩。也正像你說的那樣，我母親喜歡她。”

　　“那後來呢?”朋友問。

　　“沒什麼，”青年人說。“我父親討厭她!”