簡短英語笑話大全

　　英語民間笑話是一種頗受人們喜愛的民間敘事型別,材料豐富,有廣泛的現實基礎。小編整理了簡短英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　簡短英語笑話：Tom's excuse 湯姆的藉口

　　Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

　　Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, School-Go Slow.

　　老師：湯姆，您為什麼每天上學遲到?

　　湯姆：我每次路過拐角，一個路標上面寫著：學校----慢行。

　　簡短英語笑話：A Present

　　Kate: Mom, do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday?

　　Mom: No, Honey, what?

　　Kate: A nice teapot.

　　Mom: But I've got a nice teapot.

　　Kate: No, you haven't. I've just dropped it.

　　凱特：媽媽，你知道我要給你一件什麼生日禮物嗎?

　　媽媽：不知道，寶貝，是什麼呀?

　　凱特：一把漂亮的茶壺。

　　媽媽：可是我已經有一把漂亮的茶壺了呀。

　　凱特：不，你沒有了。我剛剛把它給摔了。

　　簡短英語笑話：A Useful Way

　　Father: Jack, why do you drink so much water?

　　Jack: I have just had an apple, Dad.

　　Father: What's that got to do with it?

　　Jack: I forgot to wash the apple.

　　爸爸：傑克，你幹嘛喝這麼多水呀?

　　傑克：我剛才吃了個蘋果，爸爸。

　　爸爸：可是這跟喝水有什麼關係呢?

　　傑克：我忘了洗蘋果呀。

　　簡短英語笑話：Two Cows

　　A farmer had a brown cow and a white cow, and he wanted to get them bred, so he borrowed his neighbor's bull and turned it loose in the pasture.

　　He told his son to watch and tell him when the bull was finished.

　　After a while the boy came into the living room where his father was talking to some friends.

　　"Say, Pop", said the boy.

　　"Yes", replied the father.

　　"The bull has just screwed the brown cow!".

　　There was a sudden silence in the conversation. The father asked his friends to excuse him for a moment, took his son outside and said:

　　"Son, you musn't use language like that, especially in front of company. You should say that the bull 'surprised' the cow. now go and watch and tell me when the bull 'surprises' the white cow".

　　The father went back inside the house.

　　After a while the boy came back and said "Hey, Daddy!".

　　"Yes, son, did the bull 'surprise' the white cow"?

　　"He sure did, Pop! he screwed the brown cow again!"

　　簡短英語笑話：Legs In The Air

　　Little Johnny came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigormortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Johnny said, "Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why is his legs sticking in the air?"

　　His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven."

　　"Gee Dad that's great," said little Johnny. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Johnny rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!"

　　"What do you mean?" said Dad.

　　"Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, "Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming" If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!"