有關英語幽默小短文

　　幽默的內在根源不是歡樂，而是悲哀;天堂裡是沒有幽默的。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　篇1

　　Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family. Would you take it and settle my guilt?"

　　布萊恩抱著一隻火雞，非常苦惱，他說：“原諒我，神父，我有罪。我偷來這隻火雞給我家人吃。你能告慰我的罪嗎”

　　"Certainly not," said the Priest. "As penance, you must return it to the one from whom you stole it."

　　“當然不行，”神父說。“你必須把它還回去，這樣才能贖罪。”

　　"I tried," Brian sobbed, "but he refused. Oh, Father, what should I do?"

　　“我試過了。”布萊恩抽泣著，“但是他拒絕了。神父，我到底該怎麼辦呢?”

　　"If what you say is true, then it is all right for you to keep it for your family."

　　“如果你說的是真的，那你就留著它吧。”

　　Thanking the Priest, Brian hurried off.

　　謝過了神父，布萊恩跑開了。

　　When confession was over, the Priest returned to his residence. When he walked into the kitchen, he found that someone had stolen his turkey.

　　告誡會結束後 ，神父回到住處。當他走到廚房的時候，他發現火雞不見了。

　　篇2

　　So this guy goes into a pet store and sees a beautiful parrot but it has a blue string handing from one foot and a red one from the other. He thinks this is a little strange so he asks the shopkeeper what the strings are for.

　　有個人在寵物店發現了一隻美麗的鸚鵡，但是它的一隻腳上牽著藍色的繩子，而另一隻牽著紅色的。這個人覺得有些奇怪，就去問店主繩子是做什麼的?

　　"Well this is a highly trained parrot" the shopkeeper replies. "If you pull the red string he talks in French, if you pull the blue string he talks in English".

　　“噢，這是一隻訓練有素的鸚鵡。”店主回答道。“如果你拉動紅繩子，它會講法語，如果你拉動藍繩子，它就講英語”

　　"Wow" exclaims the man shopping, "That's really neat. What happens if you pull them both at the same time?"

　　“哇塞，”這個人感到很驚訝。“太厲害了。那如果你同時拉呢?”

　　"I fall off my perch you idiot!" exclaims the parrot.

　　“我會從架子上跌倒的!你個笨蛋!”鸚鵡回答道。

　　篇3

　　A little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?"

　　一個小女孩問她的媽媽，“媽媽，我可以帶狗狗去街角散步嗎?”

　　Mom replies, "No, because she is in heat."

　　媽媽回答說，“不，因為她有些熱。”

　　"What's that mean?" asked the child.

　　“那是什麼意思?”小女孩問。

　　"Go ask your father", answered the mother, "I think he's in the garage."

　　“問你爸爸去吧，”媽媽回答道，“他應該在車庫裡。”

　　The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you."

　　於是小女孩就去了車庫裡，說“爸爸，我可以帶Belle去街角散散步嗎?我問了媽媽，但她說狗狗有些熱，讓我來問問你。”

　　Dad said, "Bring Belle over here." He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it and said, "Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block."

　　爸爸說，“把Belle帶過來吧。”他拿了跟布條，用汽油浸過，然後綁在了狗狗的背上用力擦了擦狗狗的背，說“好了，你現在可以去了，但是得一直拿著Belle的皮帶，並且只能在街角走一次。”

　　The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash. Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's Belle?"

　　小女孩離開了，幾分鐘後便回來了，狗沒有一起回來。爸爸感到很驚訝，問道，“Belle呢?”

　　The little girl said, "She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home."

　　小女孩說，“她半路就把背上的汽油揮發光了，然後另外一隻狗就'奮勇前進'了。”