適合小學生的英語笑話

　　笑話是內容豐富並具有出乎意料結尾的幽默口頭故事。笑話幾乎涵蓋人們生活的所有領域,其中包括政治笑話、經濟笑話、家庭生活笑話、關於民族性格的笑話等。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：Eggs

　　ne day there was a guy who was driving to a nearby town. He was in a hurry, so he took a back road to get there faster, when all of a sudden his car broke down. A nearby farmer saw himstranded so he invited him to stay the night. He said, "The only bed I have that you can sleep in is with my daughter, but if I catch you fooling around with her I'll shoot you". "To make sure that you don't I'm going to put some eggs between both of you and if they are broken in the morning then you are going to die".

　　So the guy agreed. In the middle of the night the girl wanted to get it on so they did. In the middle of the skirmish they broke all of the eggs. The guy didn't want to get shot so he cleaned up the mess and glued the egg shells back together.

　　In the morning the farmer came into his daughter's room and found that all of the eggs were stillintact. The farmer was so happy that he invited the guy to have breakfast with him. So he gathered up all of the eggs and took them to the kitchen. He cracked the first one open and nothing was inside it. He cracked the second one and still nothing and so on.

　　When he found out that all of them had nothing in them he grabbed his shotgun and ran outside. He opened the chicken shed door and yelled out "ALLRIGHT, WHICH ONE OF YOU ROOSTERS HAS BEEN USING CONDOMS?!?"

　　：An FBI Investigation

　　The phone rings at FBI headquarters.

　　"Hello? I'm calling to report my neighbor, Clifford. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood!"

　　"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

　　The next day, FBI agents descend on the neighbor's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swear at the neighbors and leave.

　　The phone rings at the neighbors house. Hey, Clifford, did the FBI come?"

　　"Yep."

　　"Did they chop your firewood?"

　　"Yep."

　　"Great, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed."

　　：It's Where You Set Your Standards

　　It was a nice sunny day when three men were walking down a country road, when they saw a bush with a pig's ass popping out.

　　The first man says, "I wish that was Demi Moore's Ass"

　　The second man says, "I wish that was Pamela Anderson's Ass."

　　Then the third man says, "I wish it was dark."

　　：Stolen Car

　　A drunk phoned the police to report that thieves had broken in to his car.

　　"They've stolen the dashboard, steering wheel, break pedal, even the accelerator," he cried out.

　　However, before the police investigation could get under way the phone rang a second time, with the same voice came over the line. "Never mind," said the drunk with a hiccup, "I got in the backseat by mistake."

　　：Lettuce And Tomato

　　This guy has to baby-sit his litle brother, and when his parents leave they say, 'Now, don't you bring your girlfriend over, or you're in big trouble, young man.'

　　The guy promises he won't, but as soon as his parents left he puts his little brother to bed and calles up his girlfriend. She comes over and they get down in the bed to fuck each other, and she says, 'Okay, lettuce means harder and tomato means faster.' So they go at it, shouting, 'Lettuce, tomato! Lettuce, tomato!'

　　The little brother chooses this moment to come into the bedroom saying he can't sleep, and asks, 'What are you doing?'

　　The guy, thinking quickly, says, 'Oh, we're making a sandwich.' So they continue to bang the bone-dance, shouting, 'Lettuce, tomato! Lettuce, tomato!'

　　The little brother put his hand to his cheek and said, 'Yuck, you got mayonaise on my face!'