初中水平英語笑話閱讀

　　在交際場合,能恰到好處地講個笑話或自創一個幽默,不僅可以體現自己的語言水平,還可以提升個人魅力。小編整理了初中水平英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　初中水平英語笑話：吝嗇鬼請客

　　The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

　　"Why use my elbow and foot?"

　　"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"

　　吝嗇鬼請客

　　一個出了名的吝嗇鬼終於決定要請一次客了。他在向一個朋友解釋怎麼找到他家時說：“你上到五樓，找中間那個門，然後用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了之後，再用你的腳把門推開。”

　　“為什麼要用我的肘和腳呢?”

　　“你的雙手得拿禮物啊。天哪，你總不會空著手來吧?”吝嗇鬼回答。

　　初中水平英語笑話：Your horse called 你的馬打電話來了

　　A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan.

　　He asks, "What was that for?"

　　She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with 'Betty Sue' written on it."

　　He says, "Jeez, honey, 'Betty Sue' was the name of the horse I bet on." Sheshrugs and walks away.

　　Three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan.

　　He asks, "What was that for?"

　　She answers, "Your horse called."

　　一個傢伙正在看報紙，他的妻子走到他身後，用一隻煎鍋敲他的後腦勺。他問道：“這是為什麼?”她說：“我在你口袋裡發現了一張寫有‘Betty Sue’的紙條。”他說：“哎呀，親愛的，‘Betty Sue’是我賭的那匹馬的名字。”她聳了聳肩，走了。 三天後他正在看報紙，妻子走到他身後，又用一隻煎鍋敲他的後腦勺。他問：“這又是為什麼?”她答道：“你的馬打電話來了。”

　　初中水平英語笑話：I hung him up to dry

　　Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking by the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom. Marypromptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

　　Jim和Mary都是精神病院裡的病人。一天，他們沿著醫院的游泳池散步，Jim突然跳入泳池的深水區，他沉到了底部。Mary立刻跳下去救他，她潛到水底，把Jim拉了上來。

　　When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately reviewed her file and called her into his office.

　　當院長聽聞了Mary的英勇行為後，他立刻翻看了她的病歷檔案,把她叫進了自己的辦公室.

　　"Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses. The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom，he's dead."

　　“Mary，我有一個好訊息和一個壞訊息要告訴你。好訊息是你能跳入水中救其他病人，這說明你的意識已經恢復了，你可以出院了。壞訊息就是，Jim，你救的那個病人，他還是用自己的浴袍帶子在浴室上吊自殺了。”

　　Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I hung him up to dry."

　　Mary說：“他沒有自殺，是我把他吊起來好讓他晾乾。”

　　初中水平英語笑話：A Good Boy 好孩子

　　Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.

　　小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。

　　"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

　　“昨天給你的錢幹什麼了?”

　　"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

　　“我給了一個可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。

　　"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly.

　　“你真是個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。

　　"Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

　　“再給你兩分錢。可你為什麼對那位老太太那麼感興趣呢?”

　　"She is the one who sells the candy."

　　“她是個賣糖果的。”

　　初中水平英語笑話：Not so fast 別那麼急嘛

　　A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala***歡慶的*** charity event was taking place.

　　Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution.

　　"Great idea!" the chicken cried."Let's offer hem ham and eggs?"

　　"Not so fast," said the pig testily. "For you, that's a contribution. For me, it's a total commitment."

　　一隻豬和一隻雞路過一所教堂，那裡有一場盛大慈善活動正在進行著。

　　在精神上收到觸動的豬向小雞提出建議：他們每個人作出點自己的貢獻。

　　“好主意!”雞尖叫道，“讓我們給腿和雞蛋吧?”

　　“著什麼急”豬不耐煩地說，“對你來說，是一個貢獻，對我來說，這是一個完全的獻身。”