英語幽默小笑話三則

　　“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　英語幽默小笑話：噪音的優點

　　Wherever I drove my old car over 55 miles per hour ,it vibrated terribly, so I decided to sell it. My first customer wanted to buy the car, and I battled with my conscience over whether or not to tell him of the vehicle's problem. Finally I did the right thing. Expecting him to drop the deal, I was surprised by his reply.

　　每當我駕駛我那輛舊車時速超過55英里時，它就劇烈地震動起來，所以我決定賣掉它。我的第一位買主想買這輛車。圍繞是否告訴他這輛車的問題，我經歷了一番良心的較量。終於我做了件正確的事情。我想他會放棄這個交易，卻對他的回答吃了一驚。

　　That's okay, he said. I'm buying this car for my daughter. If she complains about a vibration, I'll know she's driving too fast.

　　“那沒什麼，”他說，“我是給我女兒買這車的。如果她抱怨震動的話，那我就知道她開得太快了。”

　　英語幽默小笑話：我是來裝電話的

　　A young businessman had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.

　　Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor. "Can I help you?" The man said, "Sure. I've come to install the phone."

　　一個年輕人剛剛開始做生意，就租了一個漂亮的辦公室。一天，他坐在辦公室裡，看到有一個人在外面，於是他就裝作生意很忙的樣子，拿起電話胡吹亂侃，還不停的甩出幾個大數字，好像在談一筆大買賣。

　　到了最後，他終於掛了電話，問來訪的人，“有事兒嘛?”那個人回答，“我是來給你安裝電話的。”

　　英語幽默小笑話：誰是第一個男人

　　A teacher said to her class：

　　有個老師問班上的學生：

　　“Who was the first man?”

　　“誰是第一個男人?”

　　“George Washington，”a little boy shouted promptly.

　　“喬治·華盛頓，”一個小男孩當即叫道。

　　“How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?”asked the teacher，smiling indulgently.

　　“你怎麼知道喬治·華盛頓是第一個男人呢?”老師問道，寬容地微笑著。

　　“Because，”said the little boy，“he was first in war，first in peace，and first in the hearts of his countrymen.”

　　小男孩說：“因為他是戰時第一，和時第一，國人心中第一。”

　　But at this point a larger boy held up his hand.

　　這時一個大點兒的男孩舉起手來。

　　“Well，”said the teacher to him，“who do you think was the first man?”

　　“那麼，”老師對他說，“你認為誰是第一個男人呢?”

　　“I don't know what his name was，”said the larger boy，“but I know it wasn't George Washington，ma’am，because the history book says George Washington married a widow，so，of course，there must have been a man ahead of him.”

　　“我不知道他的名字，”大點兒的男孩說，“但我知道不是喬治·華盛頓，老師。因為歷史書上說，喬治·華盛頓娶了一個寡婦，所以在他前面肯定還有一個男人。”