有關幽默英語笑話精選

　　英語冷笑話具有強大的生命力,它一般不會使讀者在聽到或者讀到之後立即發笑,而往往會停頓一下才能明白其中的幽默點。小編整理了有關幽默英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　有關幽默英語笑話：The smart little boy

　　聰明的小男孩

　　Stranger: "What's your name, little boy?"

　　Little boy: "I don't konw."

　　Stranger: "How does your mother call you when the cakes are done?"

　　Boy: "She doesn't call me, I am there already."

　　陌生人：“小男孩，你的的名字叫什麼?”

　　小男孩：“我不知道。”

　　陌生人：“你媽媽在做好蛋糕時，是怎麼叫你的?”

　　小男孩：“他沒有叫我，我早就在那裡了。"

　　有關幽默英語笑話：Don't Worry Mommy!

　　One day there was this little girl who always wore a dress to school. Every day she would sit on the bench and cry. Finally Little Johnny asked her why she was crying. She replied "I don't have any money for potato chips." Johnny said "I'll give you money if you climb that tree over there."

　　"Okay!" said the little girl. So she climbed the tree with a lot of little boys around her. She got down and he gave her money. This kept continuing for several days. Her mother got suspicious and asked her "Where do you get the money for these potato chips?" The little girl replied "From the boys at school. They give me money if I climb the tree."

　　"Don't do that honey! All the boys want to do is look up your skirt and see your underwear."

　　The next day the little girl cried again and Johnny gave her money for climbing the tree. This time there was a bigger crowd than usual. When the little girl came home she had a bag of potato chips. The mother said "Honey! I told you not to climb up the tree! The boys only want to look at your underwear."

　　The little girl said "Don't worry mommy! I didn't wear any underwear today!"

　　有關幽默英語笑話：Slug jokes

　　What did the slug say to the other who had hit him and run off?

　　I'll get you next slime!

　　What was the snail doing on the highway?

　　About one mile a day!

　　What is the definition of a slug?

　　A snail with a housing problem!

　　What did the slug say as he slipped down the wall?

　　How slime flies!

　　How do you know your kitchen floor is dirty?

　　The slugs leave a trail on the floor that reads "clean me"!

　　What do you do when two snails have a fight?

　　Leave them to slug it out!

　　What is the difference between school dinners and a pile of slugs?

　　School dinners come on a plate!

　　How do snails get their shells so shiny?

　　They use snail varnish!

　　Where do you find giant snails?

　　At the end of giants fingers!

　　Why is the snail the strongest animal?

　　Because he carries a house on his back!

　　有關幽默英語笑話：Its His Fault 是他的錯

　　Billy and Bobby were brothers, and they often had fights with each other.

　　Last Saturday their mother said to them, "I'm going to cook our lunch now. Go out and play in the garden - and be good."

　　"Yes, Mummy." the two boys answered, and they went out.

　　They played in the garden for half an hour, and then Billy ran into the kitchen, "Mummy, " he said, "Bobby's broken a window in Mrs. Allens' house."

　　"He's a bad boy," his mother said. "How did he break it?"

　　"I threw a stone at him," Billy answered,"and he quickly ducked.".

　　比利和波比是兩兄弟，兩人經常打架。

　　上個星期六，他們的媽媽對他們說：“我現在要做午飯了。去，到花園去玩吧，別淘氣。”

　　“是，媽媽。”兩個男孩回答，然後他們就出去了。

　　他們在花園裡玩了半個小時，然後比利跑進了廚房。“媽媽，”他說：“ 波比打碎了艾倫太太家的窗玻璃。”

　　“他是個壞孩子。”他媽媽說。“他是怎麼把玻璃打碎的?”

　　“我朝他扔了一塊石子，”比利回答：“他蹲下了。”

　　有關幽默英語笑話：To Buy a Video

　　Amos asked his mother whether they could have a video.

　　"I’m afraid we can’t afford one," sighed his mother.

　　But on the following day in came Amos, staggering beneath the weight of a brand-new video.

　　"How on earth did you pay for that?" gasped his mother.

　　"Easy, Mum." replied Amos, "I sold the television!"

　　買錄影機

　　艾莫斯問媽媽他們是否能買一臺錄影機。

　　“恐怕我們還買不起，”媽媽嘆息著說。

　　可第二天當艾莫斯回來時，他搖搖晃晃地搬著一臺全新的錄影機。

　　“你究竟是哪兒來的錢買這東西?”媽媽大吃一驚，喘著氣說。

　　“媽媽，這簡單，”艾曼斯回答。“我把電視機給賣了!”