簡短的簡單的英語笑話

　　笑話作為民間口頭創作,深受廣大人民喜愛,笑話從一定程度上反映了社會現實、民族心態及價值觀。g小編整理了簡短的英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　簡短的英語笑話篇一

　　A Jew opens a kosher restaurant in London and puts a notice in the window:"ARABS NOT WELCOME"; a couple of days later, a person of obviously Arab origin walks in and requests a sandwich-so the cashier quickly runs into the office asking what to do. The owner decides that he really doesn’t want a scandal，so he orders，"OK，give him the sandwich, but charge him double--that should teach him."

　　一個猶太人在倫敦開了一家猶太教餐館，在餐館的窗戶上寫著:“阿拉伯人不許入內”的字樣。過了幾天，一個特徵鮮明的阿拉伯人走進餐館想要一個三明治。收銀員馬上跑到辦公室問該怎麼辦。餐館老闆不想惹事生非，於是就說，“好吧，賣他一個三明治，但是要收他兩倍錢，這樣就能給他一個教訓了。”

　　But the next day the same Arab is back again一this time for a full lunch; the owner decides" Charge him triple，he’11 get the lesson this time!” The Arab eats his lunch, pays without a quibble, praises the food and even asks for a reservation for 10 of his friends for the same evening. The owner decides`OK,1et him have the reservation, but if his friends do come，charge them tenfold!” The Arabs appear in the evening, have a large dinner, pay without complaining and even tip generously. So the next day the owner puts a new sign in the window: "JEWS NOT WELCOME."

　　但是第二天，那個阿拉伯人又來了，這回他要了一整套午餐。老闆決定收他三倍的錢，這樣他就知道厲害了!那個阿拉伯人吃過午餐後通通快快的付了錢，還稱讚食物非常好吃，甚至預定了當天晚上十個人的晚餐。老闆想了想說:“沒問題，就讓他預定，但是等他的朋友來了就收他們十倍的錢!”等到晚上，那些阿拉伯人真的來了，點了好多菜，毫無怨言地付了十倍的錢，而且還大方地給了不少小費。於是第三天，老闆在窗戶上寫了一行新字:“猶太人不許人內”。

　　簡短的英語笑話篇二

　　A judge in a small city was hearing a drunk--driving case and the defendant, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence，demanded a jury trial. It was nearly 4 p. m. and getting a jury would take time，so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. He found a dozen lawyers in the main lobby and told them that they were a jury.

　　一位小城市的法官正在處理一個酒後駕車的案件。被告曾經有過酒後駕車的記錄，現在需要一個陪審團做出裁決。那時已經是下午四點，找個陪審團來會浪費很多時間。所以，法官就宣佈休庭，然後就去隨便找些人來充當陪審團。他正好發現在大廳裡有十二個律師，就把他們叫來組成了陪審團。

　　The lawyers thought this would be a novel experience and so followed the judge back to the courtroom. The trial was over in about 10 minutes and it was very clear that the defendant was guilty. The jury went into the jury--room, the judge started getting ready to go home , and everyone waited.

　　這些律師們認為能做陪審團將會是個新奇的經歷，所以就同意和那個法官回到了法庭。審訊十分鐘就結束了，因為很明顯被告是有罪的。接著，陪審團進行商議，法官做好了回家的準備，每個人都在等待著最後的結果。

　　After nearly three hours, the judge was totally out of patience and sent the bailiff in to the jury--room to see what was holding up the verdict. When the bailiff returned, the judge said，"Well have they got a verdict yet?

　　差不多三個小時以後，法官已經等不及了，他派法警去看看陪審團是否做出了最後的判決。當法警回來的時候，法官問他:“怎麼樣?他們做出了最後的判決沒有?”

　　The bailiff shook his head and said，"Verdict? Hell，they' re still doing nominating speeches for the foreman’s position!”

　　法警搖搖頭說:“判決?天哪，他們還在進行推選陪審團主席的演講呢!”

　　簡短的英語笑話篇三

　　Two hunters hire a small plane to take them to a remote area of Canada. Upon dropping off the hunters，the pilot tells them, "Remember only one moose, because the plane wouldn' t be able to take off with more weight than that.” The hunters go off. A week later when the plane returns to pick them up the two hunters are standing by the lake with two moose.

　　兩個獵人租了一架小型飛機帶他們去加拿大的一個偏僻地區。當兩個獵人到達目的地下飛機時，飛行員告訴他們說:“記住，飛機只能帶一隻駝鹿，否則飛機會因為過重而無法起飛。”兩個獵

　　人就這樣打獵去了。

　　The pilot fumes, "I told you guys only one moose, and you' 11 have to leave one because we won’t be able to take off with that much weight.” "Oh, come on,” beg the two hunters, "Last year the pilot let us take two moose on, you’re just a chicken.”

　　過了一個星期，當飛機返回原地接他們的時候看到他們身邊有兩隻駝鹿。飛行員憤怒地說:“我告訴過你們，只能帶一隻駝鹿。你們必須丟下一隻否則飛機過重無法起飛。”“哦，別這樣”，兩個獵人哀求道，“去年那個飛行員讓我們帶了兩隻駝鹿呢，你膽子也太小了。”

　　Not wanting to be accused of being a coward，the pilot allows the two to bring both moose on the craft. The plane starts across the lake, straining to take off. The pilot tries and tries to no avail and the plane crashes into the trees at the end of the lake. A while later after coming to one of the hunters gets up and looks at all the scattered debris of the wreck and says, "Where are we?" To which the other hunter replies, "Oh，I’d say about a hundred yards farther than last year.

　　飛行員怕別人說他是膽小鬼，於是就同意帶上兩隻駝鹿一起走。當飛機穿過一個湖後開始迫降。飛行員用盡辦法也無濟於事，飛機墜落在湖邊的一片樹林裡。過了不久，一個獵人起身看著

　　飛機的殘骸說:“我們這是在哪?’’另一個獵人回答:“哦，我覺得比去年還遠了一百碼呢。”