讓人放輕鬆的英語笑話

　　笑話以其短小的篇幅,洗練的文筆,幽默的情節,獨有的魅力吸引著我們每一個人,成為大家茶餘飯後的調味劑。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　The Effectiveness of Advertisement 廣告的威力

　　Some businessmen were talking about advertising1 on tv excitedly. As none of them had ever done it before, every one had his point of view。

　　At this moment, Mr. Grey came by. grey was a car dealer2 and he had once made an advertisement。

　　"What are you talking about?" Mr. Grey asked。

　　"Does advertisement work or not?" one of the businessmen asked。

　　"Oh, yes, it works very fast," Mr. Grey said. " I once advertised for my watch-dog and offered a reward of $100."

　　"Did you get the dog back?"

　　"No, but that very night three of my cars were stolen."

　　一群商人正熱烈地討論在電視上做廣告。他們中沒有人做過，所以每個人都有自己的想法。

　　此時，格雷先生進來了。格雷是一個汽車經銷商，他曾經做過一次廣告。

　　“你們在討論什麼?”格雷先生問。

　　“廣告有用不?”其中一位商人問。

　　“噢，有用，而且見效非常快。”格雷先生說，“我曾經發布了一條廣告，要花100美金尋找一條丟失的看門狗。”

　　“你的狗找到了嗎?”

　　“沒，但是那個晚上我的三輛車被偷走了。”

　　篇二

　　做自己不喜歡的事情

　　A farmer and his son, traveling by horse and buggy up a narrow lane, met a motorist going the other way. There was no room to pass for two miles in either direction. The motorist, in hurry,honked1 his horn.

　　"If you don't back up," said the farmer, rolling up his sleeves, "I won't like what I'm going to have to do." The surprised driver put his car in reverse and backed up two miles, allowing the horse and buggy to go by.

　　"What was it you wouldn't have liked to have done back there?" asked the farmer's son.

　　"Back up two miles," replied the farmer.

　　一位農民和他的兒子坐著馬車來到一條狹窄的小巷， 他們看到一個司機正往他們這個方向開來。兩個方向2英里以內已經沒有空間讓他們擦身而過了。司機焦急地按著喇叭。

　　“假如你不往後退，”農民擼著袖子說，“我並不喜歡我將要必須去做的事。”司機甚是驚訝，掛了倒擋，退後了2英里，讓馬車先過去了。

　　“剛才你說你並不喜歡做的事是什麼啊?”農民的兒子問。

　　“退後2英里。”農民回答。

　　篇三

　　Bring Me a Glass of Milk 捎杯牛奶

　　At 2 a. m. Mrs. Culkin was convinced that she had heard a prowler in the living room. "Tiptoe downstairs," she told her husband. "Don't turn on the lights. Sneak1 up him before he knows what's happening."

　　Dutifully, Mr. Culkin put on his robe. Just as he reached the bedroom door, his wife added, "And when you come back, bring me a glass of milk."

　　半夜兩點時，科爾肯太太確信自己聽到客廳裡有賊，就對丈夫說：“別開燈，輕手輕腳地下樓，悄悄地靠近他，別被他發覺。”

　　科爾肯先生義無反顧地披上外套，前去捉賊。剛走到臥室門口，他的妻子又加了一句：“回來的時候給我捎杯牛奶。”

　　篇四

　　Flunking Math 數學沒及格

　　My son, who made the dean's list in his freshman1 year at Ball State University in Muncie, Indiana, called home a few weeks after starting his sophomore2 year as a psychology3student.

　　"Mom," he said excitedly, "I have found the answer to surviving college! It isn't the grades that are so important, but the quality of what is learned and how it is applied4 to daily life. I'm lucky to be having these wonderful experiences!"

　　"And just what does this mean?" I asked.

　　"I'm flunking5 math." he replied.

　　我的兒子是印第安那市曼西爾波州立大學的學生，大學一年級的時候，他的名字就被列在了系主任的表揚名單上。大學二年級的時候，他學的是心理學。剛開學沒幾個星期，他就往家裡打了一個電話。

　　“媽媽，”他興奮地說，“我已經找到了在大學生存下去的答案!分數不是最重要的，重要的是具備如何把學到的知識應用於日常生活的素質。幸運的是，我擁有了這種奇妙的經歷!”

　　“你說的這些究竟是什麼意思?”我問道。

　　“我數學沒及格。”他回答道。

　　篇五

　　When Enemy Soldiers Come at You 當敵兵襲擊你時

　　The first sergeant1 was holding a class on combat for his company. He said, "Jose, what would you do if you saw 700 enemy soldiers coming at you?"

　　Jose said, "I would shoot them all with my rifle."

　　The sergeant asked, "On the fight you see 400 enemy soldiers charging at you. What would you do?"

　　Jose said, "I would shoot them with my rifle."

　　The sergeant continued, "Okay! On your left, Jose, you notice 1,000 enemy soldiers heading straight at you. What would you do?"

　　Jose answered. "I would shoot them all with my rifle."

　　The sergeant yelled, "Just a minute, Jose. Where are you getting all those bullets?"

　　The soldier smiled and said, "Where are you getting all those enemy soldiers in the same place?"

　　警官正在給他的連隊上一堂戰鬥課，他問：“約瑟，假如你看到有700名敵兵正朝你衝過來，你會怎麼辦?“

　　約瑟說：“我會用我的槍打死他們。”

　　警官問：“你看到你的右方有400名敵兵正向你撲過來，你會怎麼辦?”

　　約瑟說：“我會用我的槍打死他們。”

　　警官繼續說：“很好，約瑟，你注意到你的左方有1,000名敵兵正直衝你奔來，你會怎麼辦?”

　　約瑟又回答：“我會用我的槍打死他們。”

　　警官大叫：“稍等，約瑟，你是從哪裡得到這些子彈的?”

　　士兵笑了笑，說道：“您在同一個地方從哪裡把這些敵兵調集來的呢?”