有關於簡短的英語笑話帶翻譯

　　冷笑話是近幾年才出現的新興語言現象，它以網路為主要的傳播方式。它是幽默的一種特殊的表現形式，主要流傳於網頁，微博，貼吧等。它與傳統的笑話不同，有其獨特的產生和理解方式。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：Unwelcome visitors 不受歡迎的訪問者

　　A man said to his friend, "I'm bothered with time-wasting callers." His friend said, "Why don't you try my plan to deal with them."

　　"What is it?" he asked. His friend said: "When the bell rings, I put on my hat and gloves before I open the door. If it proves to be someone I don't want to see, I simply say 'So sorry, I'm just going out!'"

　　He asked again: "If it's some one you want to see?" his friend replied: "Oh ,then I say: 'So fortunate, I've just come in.'"

　　有個人對他的朋友說：“一些來訪問的人耗費時間攪得我很惱火呢。”朋友說：“為什麼不試用我的辦法對付這些人呢?”

　　“什麼辦法呀?”他問道。朋友說：“門鈴響的時候，我戴上帽子和手套後再去開門。如果來的是我不想見的人，我就說‘真對不起，我正要出去。’”

　　他又問道：“如果是你想見的人呢?”朋友回答說：“哦，那我就說‘幸好我剛剛回來了。’”

　　：Mr Brown and his Car 布朗先生和他的汽車

　　Mr.Brown lives in a small town, but then he gets a job in a big city and moves there with hiswife and his two children. On the first Sunday in their new home, Brown takes his new car out of the garage and washes it. A neighbor comes by. When he sees Brown's new car, the neighbor stops and looks at it for a minute. Then Brown turns and sees him.

　　The neighbor says, "That's a nice car. Is it yours?" "Sometimes." Brown answers.

　　The neighbor is surprised. "Sometimes?" he says. "What do you mean?"

　　"Well," answers Brown slowly, "When there is a party in the town, it belongs to my daughter, Jane. When there is a football game somewhere, it belongs to my son, Joe. When I've washes it, and it is really nice and clean, then it belongs to my wife. And when it needsgas, it's mine."

　　布朗先生居住在一個小城鎮裡，但後來在城裡找到了工作並和他的妻子，兩個孩子搬到了城裡。在他搬到新家的第一個星期天，布朗先生把他的小汽車從車庫裡開出來進行沖洗。一位鄰居經過。當他看見布朗先生洗車是，這位鄰居停下來一會兒。接著布朗先生轉過身看見了他。

　　鄰居說：“這輛車真漂亮，是你的嗎?”“有時候是。”布朗先生回答。

　　這位鄰居很吃驚。“有時?”他說：“什麼意思?”

　　“哦，”布朗先生慢慢地說：”當城鎮有聚會時，它屬於我的女兒——簡。當哪裡有足球賽是，就屬於我的兒子——喬。當我洗刷好湖，車看起來確實乾淨漂亮，它就屬於我妻子。當需要汽油時，它這時就屬於我了。“

　　：Psychological test 心理測試

　　A new firm arranged to employ a secretary. The manager decided to hold a psychologicaltest for choosing a good one.

　　Three girls had applied for the post. They should be examined by a psychologist.

　　The psychologist said to the first girl, "Now listen carefully. What do three and three make?" the girl quickly replied "Six", then the examiner told her to wait in the next room.

　　The second girl was asked the same question. She hesitated for a while, suspecting something was planned, then she said jokingly: "Well, it might be thirty-three." Then she was also told to wait in the next room.

　　The third girl was still asked the same question. She took her time and answered: "Might be thirty-three or six." The psychologist was well pleased and said to the manager: "The first girl gave the obvious answer. The second one suspected me of tricking her. The third one had it going both way. Now, which one would you have?"

　　一家新公司打算招聘一個祕書，經理決定做一次心理測試以便選用一個合適的人選。

　　有三個姑娘申請了這個工作，她們將由一位心理學家進行測試。

　　心理學家對第一個姑娘說：“現在你要仔細地聽著，3加3等於多少?”姑娘迅速回答說：“等於6.”他就叫她到隔壁的房間裡去等候。

　　他對第二個姑娘問了同樣的問題。這個姑娘猶豫了一會兒，覺得這個問題有點古怪，就以開玩笑的口吻回答說：“哦，可以是33呀!”她也被叫到隔壁的房間去等候。

　　對第三個姑娘問的還是同樣的問題。她從容不迫地回答說：“可以是33，也可以是6.”心理學家很滿意，就對經理說：“第一個姑娘給出了一個顯而易見的答案。第二個姑娘懷疑我在作弄她。第三個姑娘則認為兩個數都是對的。現在你要選用哪一個?”

　　：How much does it cost? 花多少錢?

　　On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time." He continued: "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur***招致*** a hefty***重的*** fine of $180. Are there any questions?" At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired: "How much for a season pass?"

　　在上大學的第一天，院長向學生髮表演說，說明一些規則：“女生的宿舍將會是所有的男生的禁區，男生宿舍對女生也是禁區。任何打破這一條規則的人第一次將會被***20美元。”他繼續說:：“任何人第二次被發現打破這條規則將會被***60美元。第三次被發現的將會招致180美元的重罰。有任何問題嗎?”此時，一位男生問：“那麼進去3個月要花多少錢?”