有關英語笑話帶翻譯

　　我們要言談文雅,彬彬有禮,不可說些不成體統的話,以免被人笑話。本文是，希望對大家有幫助!

　　：一個吝嗇鬼的邀請

　　The notorious cheap skate explaining to a friend how to find his apartment. He said. ″Come upto 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open. Push with your foot.″

　　一個出了名的吝嗇鬼在向一個朋友解釋怎麼找到他家時說：“你上到五樓，找中間那個門，然後用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了之後，再用你的腳把門推開。”

　　″Why use my elbow and foot?″″Well. Gosh,″ was the reply. ″You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?″

　　“為什麼要用我的肘和腳呢?”“你的雙手得拿禮物啊。天哪，你總不會空著手來吧?”吝嗇鬼回答。

　　：遲鈍的老公

　　Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a specialoccasion.

　　婚後已久，我丈夫往往在一個特別事情上需要委婉的提醒。

　　On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted,Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?

　　在我們結婚35週年紀念的早上，我們正坐在早餐桌旁，我暗示道：親愛的，你意識到我們在這兩個相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了嗎?

　　Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said, So, you want to switch seats?

　　他放下報紙，眼睛直直地望著我：因此，你想交換座位嗎?

　　：催命理髮員

　　Barber: Were you wearing a red scarf when you came in?

　　理髮員：你進來時是不是繫著紅圍巾?

　　Customer: No.

　　顧客：沒有呀。

　　Barber: Oh, then I must have cut your throat.

　　理髮員：噢，那我肯定弄破了你的喉嚨。

　　：緊遵醫囑

　　Brown: I'm sorry to see you so unwell. Have you seen the doctor?

　　布朗：看到你身體這樣不好真讓人難過。你去看醫生了嗎?

　　Jack: Yes. I'm having three baths a day.

　　傑克：看過了，我現在一天洗三次澡。

　　Brown: What for?

　　布朗：為什麼?

　　Jack: Don't know, doctor's orders. He gave me some medicine and told me to follow thedirections on the bottle, which read:" One tablespoonful to be taken three times a day in water."

　　傑克：我也不知道，這是醫生的囑咐。他給了我一些藥並告訴我要按照藥瓶上的說明去做。說明上面寫著“一天三次在水中服一湯匙。”