關於英語爆笑小笑話帶翻譯

　　笑話***анекдот***是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透過笑話我們可以看到一個民族的生存環境、生活方式、社會關係和心理特徵等等。小編整理了，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　one day, while sue was cleaning under the bed, she found a small box. curious, she opened it and found 3 eggs and 10,000 dollars. a little bit suspicious, she confronted her husband of twenty years about it.

　　"oh, that," frank said. "every time i cheated on you, i put an egg in this box." sue was a bit unhappy about this, but figured that 3 affairs over twenty years wasn't so bad.

　　"but what about the 10,000 dollars?"

　　"every time i got a dozen, i sold them."

　　一天，妻子 sue 在整理床鋪時，偶然發現了一個小盒子。出於好奇心，她小心翼翼的打開了盒子，發現裡面放了三枚雞蛋和10000美元鈔票。對於相處了20餘年丈夫居然對自己隱瞞了此事，她開始感到有些疑惑不安。

　　“哦，是這樣的，”丈夫 frank 解釋道，“每次我做了對你不忠的事，我就會在這個盒子裡放一枚雞蛋。” sue 雖然對此感到不很高興，但是轉念又一想20多年的丈夫揹著她有婚外情也不過只有三次，想想也不算太壞。

　　“那麼另外的那10000美元是怎麼回事?”

　　“每當雞蛋湊夠一打，我就賣了換成現金。”

　　篇二

　　a man dies and due to his evil and sinful life, goes to hell. the devil himself meets him at the gates of hell and tells him, "i don't know what all you've heard up there, but hell isn't all that bad a place. let me ask you, do you like to smoke?"

　　the man answers, "yes, i do"

　　"oh, good then," the devil says, "you'll love mondays. every monday we all sit around and smoke cigarettes, cigars, pipes, try out new types of tobacco. do you like to drink?"

　　the man answers, "yeah, sure, i like to drink."

　　the devil says, "good, you'll love tuesdays, then. all we do on tuesdays is sit around and drink beer, wine, and all kinds of different mixed drinks."

　　"you'll just love tuesdays. do you like to swear?"

　　"sure," says the man, "i swear a lot."

　　"great then. you'll love wednesdays."

　　the devil says, "on wednesdays, all we do is sit around and swear a lot, we try to make up new cuss words, and have a great time, you'll just love wednesdays."

　　"oh, by the way," asks the devil, "are you gay?"

　　"hell no," the man replies, "i hate fags!"

　　the devil look at him, and says, "then you're gonna hate thursdays."

　　一名男子由於罪孽深重死後進了地獄。魔鬼在門口迎接他問道：“我不清楚你聽說過的地獄是什麼樣，但這絕不是你想象中的那麼遭。那我問你，你喜歡抽菸嗎?”

　　男子回答道：“是的。”

　　“太好了”，魔鬼說，“你會愛上星期一的。每週一我們都會坐在這裡抽菸，雪茄，菸斗，嘗試各種菸草。你喜歡喝酒嗎?”

　　男子回答道：“當然，我喜歡喝酒。”

　　魔鬼說：“太棒了，那麼你會愛上星期二的，每週二我們都會坐在這裡喝啤酒，紅酒和各種各樣的雞尾酒。”

　　“你會愛上星期三的。你喜歡發誓吧?”

　　“當然。”男子回答道，“我發過很多誓。”

　　“太好了你會愛上週三的”

　　惡魔說道，“我們會坐在這裡發狠多誓,發明很多髒話來度過週三，你會愛死週四的。”

　　“噢，對了”惡魔問道，“你是同性戀嗎?”

　　“該死的”男子回答說：“我討厭同性戀”

　　惡魔看了看他，說：“那麼你會討厭星期四的”

　　篇三

　　While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?"

　　"Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!"

　　一個學生帶他朋友們參觀他的新公寓，甚是得意。“那個大銅鑼和錘子是幹什麼用的?”他的一個朋友問他。“那玩意兒厲害了，那是一個會說話的鐘”，學生回答。“這鐘怎麼工作的”，他的朋友問。“看著，別眨眼了”，那學生走上前一把操起銅鑼和錘子，拼命地敲了一下，聲音震耳欲聾。突然，他們聽到隔壁牆那邊有人狂叫，“別敲了，你這白痴!現在是凌晨兩點鐘了!”