爆笑幽默雙語小笑話

　　“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　：相互忽悠

　　One night a hotel caught fire, and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes.

　　一天晚上，一家旅館失火，住在這家旅館裡的人穿著睡衣就跑了出來。

　　Two men stood outside and looked at the fire.

　　兩個人站在外面，看著大火。

　　Before I came out, said one, I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money. People don't think of money when they're afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in a fire, the fire burns it. So I took all the bills that I could find. No one will be poorer because I took them.

　　在我出來之前，其中一個說，我跑進一些房間，找到了一大筆錢。人在恐懼中是不會想到錢的。如果有人把紙幣留在火裡，火就會把它燒成灰燼，所以我把我所能找到的鈔票都拿走了，沒有人會因為我拿走它們而變得更窮。

　　You don't know my work, said the other.

　　你不知道我是幹什麼的，另一個說。

　　What is your work?

　　你是幹什麼的?

　　I'm a policeman.

　　我是警察。

　　Oh! cried the first man. He thought quickly and said, and do you know my work? No, said the policeman.

　　噢!第一個人喊了一聲，他靈機一動，說：那你知道我是幹什麼的?不知道。警察說。

　　I'm a writer. I'm always telling stories about things that never happened.

　　我是個作家，我總是愛編一些從未發生過的故事。

　　：美好的心願

　　One day a boy came to his teacher and said: Teacher, pa wants to know if you like roast***烘烤*** pig.

　　一天有個男孩去對他老師說：老師，我爸想知道你是不是愛吃烤豬肉。

　　I certainly do, said the teacher, and you tell your father he is very kind to think of me.

　　當然囉，老師說，去告訴你父親，多謝他想著我。

　　Days passed, and nothing more was said about the roast pig.

　　好幾天過去了，再沒提起烤豬肉的事兒。

　　Finally the teacher said to the boy: I thought your father was going to send me over some roast pig.

　　最後老師對男孩說：我以為你父親要給我送點烤豬肉來呢。

　　Yes, said the boy, he did intend to, but the pig got well.

　　是啊，孩子說，他是這麼想的，可後來豬又沒病了。

　　：吝嗇鬼的本色

　　The notorious***聲名狼藉的*** cheap skate explaining to a friend how to find his apartment. He said. ″Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open. Push with your foot.″

　　一個出了名的吝嗇鬼在向一個朋友解釋怎麼找到他家時說：“你上到五樓，找中間那個門，然後用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了之後，再用你的腳把門推開。”

　　″Why use my elbow and foot?″

　　“為什麼要用我的肘和腳呢?”

　　″Well. Gosh,″ was the reply. ″You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?″

　　“你的雙手得拿禮物啊。天哪，你總不會空著手來吧?”吝嗇鬼回答。